Hi you! I’m going to talk about lesbian online dating sites again and a different side of the experience.
I want to start by sharing a comment I received the other day. Carol wrote me to say that she’d signed up with two lesbian dating sites a year ago. When she started to search all she saw were “women in overalls” and it so upset her that she started to cry and hasn’t been back to a lesbian online dating site since. She asked for a recommendation of a site for older lesbians.
That was a bad experience for Carol. Have any of you had a similar experience? I’ve had the experience, as I got older, of seeing fewer women that fit what I am attracted to. That took some getting used to when I was involved in online dating a couple of years ago. I found there were just fewer women that I had any interest in meeting. I also found there were fewer women who had any interest in me.
But this isn’t online shopping; it’s a way to connect with other lesbians and gay girls to scout for a great match. We can sometimes get stuck in thinking it should be like online shopping (that’s a bad habit for gay girls to acquire.) Just search the catalog for my favorite size and color and add it, um I mean HER, to the shopping cart. Yeah, perhaps you’d like to stop that now.
Online dating sites give us features like favorites and winks. They are free. Just click a button. You can add as many favorites as you like and send as many winks as you’d like. All for free. I personally disliked getting winks from lesbians that obviously had done nothing but looked at my picture because we had nothing in common when I read her profile. Boring!
It’s a bit annoying then when there are so few lesbians that match up to your requirements, wants and needs. But how many women are you shopping for here? Just one? Right… I thought so.
It only takes one right match for love to show up in your life.
It is important to remember when you approach online dating – that you’re looking for just one right match, not one hundred. If you see 25 or 50 or 100 profiles that are women you’d never date – that’s OK! You’re just looking for 3 or 5 or 7 profiles of women you’d like to date that you can connect with and start a conversation. Perhaps you’re getting stuck on the wrapper – Dating Trap #2! Dig deeper.
All those other profiles are just little lessons for you. They help reinforce the fact that you’re looking for the one Ms. Right. You don’t need 100’s of matches. That’s overkill. Believe me, by the time you got through 25 “ok matches” you’ll be ready for a vacation from online dating.
Oh my dear older lesbian friends, I feel your pain. I’ve been there and done it. I’ve felt the disappointment and had to rally my heart to stay engaged with being open and looking. While at the same time holding on tightly to my requirements for a relationship.
I’ve done a little looking for good sites for older lesbians and here are my recommendations:
Match.com
Dykefinder.com
EHarmony.com
Here’s why I recommend these sites. They are legitimate businesses that are focused on providing good and accurate service to their customers. They attract a large volume of lesbians and therefore provide lots of profiles to screen and sort.
I searched for other sites and thought I’d found a good one with Planetsappho.com. Wrong! I pulled up three profiles to read that were listed as “lesbian.” Each one clearly stated in her profile that she was looking for a man. Oops. Too bad planetsappho! One misplaced profile is ok, but three in row tells me they aren’t being ethical in their marketing. Too too bad!!
Let’s review the one really important thing to keep in mind when searching online. You are not “shopping.” There doesn’t need to be 100 great choices cause you’re only looking for ONE great match. This is not the time or place to compromise.
Don’t let yourself get discouraged. Lesbian online dating is only one way to search for love. Only 1 in 3 singles are using online dating sites! That tells you many more gay girls are out there than you see online and you need to be exploring many different ways to meet that special one.
Do you know of a great lesbian online dating site for older lesbians, share that info with me here? Go to the end of this article and leave a comment for me or send me a note using the Contact tab at the top of this page.
Finally, one big mistake that lesbians make is approaching online dating as if it were the ONLY place to find a date, a relationship, a partner. It’s not! You need to be out and interacting in so many other ways. And don’t forget that your Ms. Right is out there right now, looking for you too.
Thanks for being here today! Chin up, stay strong and find a gay girl to hug today!
Hugs to you, Mary
Your Gay Girl Dating Coach
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About Mary Malia:
Mary Gorham Malia is a gay girl who’s passed the age of 50, survived menopause, hot flashes and night sweats, raised two children, came out later in life, divorced, grew from being a baby dyke to a lesbian with many dating experiences, has been rescued from cubicle nation and now finds the wisdom of being a bit older as the salvation she always wanted. She’s gone from lost and angry teenager to seasoned life traveler who has a commitment to reach out to the lesbian nation and make a difference for lgbt women.
Mary is also an entrepreneur, business consultant, dating and relationship coach, speaker, writer, strategist, gay girl community builder, mentor, mom and lover of women of all stripes. She has worked for and consulted with Fortune 500 companies, national non-profits and managed multi-million dollar projects. She has also run multiple small businesses.
As the founder and organizer of lesbian focused community groups in multiple states, with members numbering in the thousands, she brings her unique philosophies to women dating women wherever she can. Her unique focus is as a ”Step by Step You Can Live an Extraordinary Life” Gay Girl Dating Coach because happiness is more than a date!
She is committed to serving the gay girl community anywhere and everywhere it is in order to support women in being their most brilliant selves and creating extraordinary lives. Her focus on authenticity, humor and daring to dream show up in her writing and speaking and in her own life as well. Not only does she teach women how to date 21st century style but she also works with business owners and executives across many industries including marketing, health services, nonprofits, and technology.
Her business, Gay Girl Dating, LLC, was founded on the belief that lesbian, gay, queer, bi and transgender women can live extraordinary lives when they understand the principles and practices that make life great and put these practices into action in their own lives.
Gay Girl Dating Coach, LLC PO Box 10924, Portland, ME 04104 | Office: 207-450-1611| © 2011 Gay Girl Dating Coach, LLC
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