First Dates for Lesbians in New York City – Day 2

by Mary Malia

There are a few reasons to go on first dates in New York City.

One important reason is that it’s the only way to get to date #2, #3, #4 and beyond.

It’s that ‘beyond territory’ that gets you to a real relationship.

Most women look to date locally. Adventurous women will look beyond local dating and get involved in long distance dating. And well then there’s me. I’m traveling for the business and having the chance to date locally as I “camp out” for a period of time in a location.

The Gay Girl Love Tour is not only an exercise in growing my reach to help women get the know how they need to date better but it’s my own personal love tour of life and liberty and seeing things I never did when I was younger.

Now I really do want to find someone great and settle down but my approach is pretty outside the box. That’s because I live outside the box.

At 57, I’ve launched a business that is going to take a while to grow and become all I believe it can. That means I’m not busy figuring out how to retire and settle down while many women my age are doing that.

I’m not picking on those women just pointing out something every dating lesbian should know and pay attention to, is the woman you’re dating at least pointing her life in a similar direction at yours? If I meet someone who tells me she’s busy figuring out how to stop working as soon as possible, she’s not going to have fun with me in the long term because I’m busy figuring out how to start three more businesses in the next five years. No, I’m not planning on retiring in the usual sense of the word.

I’m busy every day learning something new. Testing something different. Talking to women around the globe by email or skype or google hangout or something like that. I’m stretching out of my comfort zone. I getting the word out about the Gay Girl Love Tour and dating workshops and how to think differently about dating. That can make a lot of women uncomfortable. Damn, it makes me uncomfortable some days but I’m committed to stretching and seeing just how much I can destroy the box called a “predictable life.”

First Dates Can Be Unpredictable

Now first dates can be pretty unpredictable. We all head into it wondering if there will be instant chemistry. Hell yeah of course I wonder that but I’m not sold on that being what has to happen on a first date anymore. I wrote about that in a another post you can read here.

I’ve been on a lot of first dates. A few of them have happened in New York City. Most of them have been really great first dates, for me anyway. I had a good time, I enjoyed the woman’s company and learned fun things about her and life in the city. I felt engaged and had an interesting conversation.

Act Like You Care About Yourself – Look Nice for First Dates

It’s  important to add that first dates don’t make me nervous anymore. That doesn’t mean I don’t take extra care MGMApril2 2014 150x150 First Dates for Lesbians in New York City Day 2with how I dress or fix my hair. I definitely do. I also make sure I’ve got my minimalist makeup on (eyeliner and mascara) and a smile.  I’d recommend to any of you to do the same.

Take the time to look great, even if its a casual date or just a quick casual coffee date to introduce yourselves to each other. I checked out a store you can’t find in Maine or Austin so far called Joe Fresh. I’m in LOVE with it. I got this great green apple shirt there and my new skin tight jeans for less that $50. Can you say great deal?

The secret power to showing up looking great is that YOU FEEL BETTER about yourself and that positive feeling comes into your date. If it turns out to be fun, it’s even better. If it turns out to be a dude, you know you looked your best and showed up feeling good about yourself.

Now you can also go home feeling good about yourself no matter how the date turns out.

Tonight’s First Date In New York City

Tonight was a first date with a charming and very interesting woman. I’ve dubbed her “smartie pants” because she’s really freaking smart. And she’s also interesting and interested.

The conversation wasn’t one sided but had a nice back and forth flow. I wasn’t the only confident woman sitting at the bar sipping on a drink. Young women may win in the super sexy department based on looks but women in my age range win in the infinitely interesting department and that’s super sexy too.

So day 2 is coming to a close. There was a lot of work stuff that happened all day, then dog walking of course, feeding animals, cleaning litter and picking up poop.

There was also a lovely walk to Union Square today also to visit the Farmer’s Market.  I picked up a few yummies.

Many of us never have the chance to go on an adventure like the one I’m on. And believe me, I’ve had a few moments of wondering what the hell am I doing?

And when I’m not playing at being scared, I know what I’m doing is expanding the universe, expanding myself and finding ways to get the word out to more women that dating can be fun. If I learned how, so can you.

And it takes dating to get to loving. icon smile First Dates for Lesbians in New York City Day 2

Sending you love, love and more love,

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