How To Hack OkCupid Questions

by Mary Malia

Do you know how to hack OkCupid Questions?

If you’re on OkCupid you’ve seen the questions.

You’ve answered the questions.

You’ve sworn at the questions.

You’ve laughed at the questions.

You’ve ignored the questions.

You’ve read the answers other women gave to questions and thought, “Oh damn, wish I’d thought of that” or “That’s a dumb answer” or maybe “Who answers like that?”

This is part 2, sort of, about OkCupid and “hacking” online dating. Which means learning to use their system and then using it that way. You’ll benefit from knowing why you should or should not do something.

Whatever your reaction to the thousands of possible questions on OkCupid, your answers impact how you get matches on this site.

Do You Know How to Hack OkCupid and Its Questions?

Have you ever spent any time learning how the questions on OkCupid work to get you matches?

Do you understand what you’re doing when you answer a question and then rank it’s importance?

Do you know how that impacts your matches?

Did you read my last article on the two people who “hacked” online dating?

What they really did was learn how the system of online dating worked and then worked the system! So what are you doing? Throwing spaghetti on a wall and seeing what sticks? Yes, you are! That’s what every one is doing and it doesn’t work.

The image to the right tells you the basics about OkCupid’s questions and how to use the tool.

Now here’s a bit more info that can help you make better use of your online dating time and energy.

1) If it’s a lame question and you don’t want to answer it, hit the “Skip” button.

2) You get to pick how important a question is to you. You can tag a question as “very important”, “important” or “irrelevant.” Don’t over use this tag. OkCupid ignores any answers you tag as irrelevant. It’s better to skip it.  It’s hard to match you if you don’t care about anything.

3) The more questions you mark as “important” the better your matches will be.  Now get this… It’s ummm…. IMPORTANT. Here’s where you start to really take charge of this question tool to improve your matches.

When you rank a question/response as important, that goes to the top of the priority list inside OkCupid’s matching algorithms for you. It gets ranked higher and therefore provides you womens profiles that are a better match for what’s important to you.  (i.e. what are your absolute requirements for a relationship to work!)

Here’s an image snapped from the OkCupid site on their Secret Matching Formula. And since it’s right out in the open on the site, it’s not secret!  S = the number of questions you’ve answered.

Notice!!!! OkCupid is telling you that the more questions you answer the better the match information for like answers!

Unfortunately I find OkCupid’s matching by desired age sucks. Badly. I can’t figure this out at all. It’s highly misleading to have a match show up with a high percentage only to scroll to the “I’m looking for” and find you’re not close to the age range she’s open to seeing.

But I Might Miss a Great Match if I Do That! I Might Offend Someone Interesting! 

Did you really say that? See me doing a palm plant to my forehead!

Why is missing someone who doesn’t value what’s important to you a miss? It’s not!!

And if you offend someone online, then for sure you’d offend her when you meet her. She’s already too much drama and you haven’t met yet.

Move on, there are more lesbians to meet out there.

It’s your fear that you’re going to get it wrong that keeps you wanting to keep things completely wide open on a dating site. That doesn’t work well actually.

Honesty Online Counts… A Lot!

Being truthful is so important in online dating. I can’t emphasis it enough. Your true age, recent photos where your face and body can be seen easily.

Recent photo means in the last three months. Stop putting up photos that are anything other than current and from the last year. There’s no reason to have outdated photos anymore. Even if you don’t have a smartphone, you have friends that do.

Be truthful about what you really want. If you don’t want children, use the “Details” section of the site to indicate that. You don’t need to make a big deal of it in your written section. All dating sites make that easy these days.

If you want children or have children, you can indicate that in “Details” also but since it’s a positive thing for you, go ahead and mention it in your written profile.

I love helping my clients to understand that you really do want to filter OUT women who aren’t a match for you and filter IN women who are a great match for you but always with a positive spin.

By answering questions honestly, you’ll find people who really like you for who you are. Did you get that? That means if you smoke, don’t tell me your quitting when you aren’t quitting. By using “important” to rank questions and being honest with all your information, you’ll meet people who really LIKE YOU for who you are.

Isn’t that what you’re looking for?

If you’re telling us, the readers of your profile, about negatives, “No this, No that, Don’t this, Don’t that… “ it’s pretty clear you’ve still got some work to do. I’m going to assume you’re pissed off about something and really on guard. Perhaps you don’t feel safe. Maybe you’ve had a bad experience, ok, but even with that you’re pushing away potential great matches.

Research in online dating profiles tells us that profiles written with lots of negatives get much poorer results than those that have a positive approach.

Your Matches from OkCupid Questions and Answers

You do know that you can see a woman’s answers to some questions? Yes, the ones you have both answered. You can see what she said versus what you said.

Ok, so that’s a bit interesting isn’t it? And if you’ve answered the questions in a way she likes, the text will appear in black. If you’ve answered it differently, the text will be pink.  And vice versus, ok? (No, I have no idea why they picked pink!)

Now if you’ve kept some answers private to questions she’s answered, you won’t be able to see her answers. You’ll have to make your answers public. Right, it’s some sort of game about playing fair.

And finally, if she’s answered a question you haven’t, OkCupid puts it right there for you to answer if you want. Pretty simple.

If you’re not a great match with a woman on OkCupid you’ll see the phrase, “Ya’ll Got Issues” instead. I’ve seen it now and again when searching and the match % is low. That’s what it means.

I’ve also had women send me emails asking me to answer more questions. Really? Yes, really. My immediate thought was, wow pushy broad. Yes, I did say that to myself.  Because if you really want to get to know me, just write an email and ask questions. It’s free on OkCupid!

Final Thoughts On Questions

Do these questions really tell you anything? Hell yeah!  Sometimes they answer damn important questions, like Do You Want Children? That’s important. Questions about religion or faith can be very important. Questions about how one eats matter a whole lot to certain people. Certainly alcohol consumption matters or drug use.

There are thousands of questions to answer. And after you’ve answered 500 questions, you can start to add your own questions to the mix. YES! It’s true. And it explains some of the really inane questions that get asked.

And NO, I see no reason to answer 500 questions. I’d wonder if you have a life outside of online dating. But that’s me, you might love the whole thing. If you do, go for it. I’ll be busy elsewhere.

Five Most Important Things to Know About OkCupid Questions?

  1. OkCupid always shows you the best questions first.
  2. Pay attention to those first couple of 100 questions.
  3. Get honest.
  4. Use “important” as much as possible.
  5. If you hate the question, hit Skip! If it’s totally irrelevant to you, hit Skip!

Now what about the other 6000 dating sites out there? Fortunately most of them don’t relate to lesbian dating at all, so don’t worry.

I picked OkCupid, not to ignore lesbian culture or lesbian only dating sites, but because it is known as a site that runs well, uses tools that many sites don’t use and it has a large number of lesbians using the site. 

Great lessons on dating abound there.

What are your big online dating lessons you’ve learned? Take a minute to share in the comments section!  And thanks.

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