Get Her Phone Number!

by Mary Malia

You go out. You meet someone interesting. Get Her Phone Number!

Ok, now perhaps I’ve scared you.

You’re thinking, I’m going home and see if I can find her on OK Cupid or on the dating site

Or maybe it’s Plenty of Fish or Zoosk the current #1 dating site.

Or how about Facebook, you’ll find her there and start stalking her.

Bad form. You’re delaying. Stalling. Just ask for her phone number!

Maybe you stick with something like or or or There are so many dating sites for lesbians, you may never find her face on one.

Asking someone out face to face is one of the two scariest parts of dating. The second one is actually going on that first date, right?

Taking action to ask for her number makes you the chooser and not the loser who didn’t take action and didn’t make the call.

You’ve Got To Get Her Phone Number!

One of the things I teach women in my Gay Girl Love Tour Workshops is how to get her number. How to determine if she’s even open to you before you walk up and then to get her number before you walk away.

When you do what is in your control to do, ask for her number, you can set things in motion. You stop waiting for “something” to happen. You stop waiting to find her on a dating site or see her at another t-dance in a month.

When you take action to ask for her number, you are alive in the moment. You’re owning your life right now.

She Might Say NO!

Well of course she might say no. You’re mother said NO to you a million times while you were growing up. If a woman you don’t even know says NO to you, you’ll be OK. You’ll be alright. You’ll be just fine. You’ll be in the moment living your life, breathing and able to move forward.

You won’t waste a month waiting for the next t-dance to see if she’ll be there only to see her there wrapped in the arms of another woman. Yeah! Right!

Don’t be the lesbian who waits till the last minute of something to walk up to the queer woman you’re interested in meeting and say, “Gee I’ve got to go, I hope I’ll see you here again sometime.” UGH!!!!!  What a waste. What a misfortune.

Decide to be OK with a NO. Decide it’s OK if she makes a face and says NO to you. You lived large. You just lived your best lesbian life! You made a move. You got stronger. You didn’t let fear be in control of your dating and love life. You acted like a grown-up lesbian instead of letting your “little girl” be in charge of your dating life.

This is a simple message. It might scare you to death. You won’t die. You’ll actually feel more alive than you have in a loooooonnnngggg time. Get her number. And if you’re not getting my Ezine with weekly dating tips and info on my free webinar series… you can get on it now.


Now back to the phone number thing.

Walk up. Introduce yourself. Ask her name and who she’s here with… and dive into the get to know you talk.

If she stays with you, she just might be interested. Keep asking friendly and fun questions. Put a smile on her face. And ask for her number before you walk away. Tell her, “hey this has been fun, I’d love to get together another time. Can we exchange numbers? (when she says yes, pull out your phone and do it right then…) and tell her you’ll call her tomorrow to make a plan.

Simple. Sort of, right?

Just ask. It’s OK if she says no. And it’s amazing when she says YES.

Now take two minutes and tell me in the comment section… do you get numbers? Do you approach lesbians to ask them out? Does it scare you? Share your story with me. I’m really curious about this one.

Sending you a big hug,

pin it button Get Her Phone Number!

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