Let me ask, are you feeling confidant and sexy everyday? You should be and a lot of that is how you are dressing and showing up in your world? No, we’re not talking about strutting on the field at half time during the Super Bowl, or walking the red carpet at the Golden Globe Awards or the Oscars. We’re talking about how you as a lesbian dress in your everyday “uniforms.” What do you look like? How do you feel? Are you hiding behind your clothes? Did you stop caring at some point? Do you recognize that what you wear impacts how you feel?
I wrote recently about the effort required to make it past the play-offs to the Super Bowl. Determination, discipline and persistance. And there’s a whole lot about believing in yourself and your team mates. I’m here as your Coach to cheer you on, offer support and provide insight and tips to successfully navigating dating in the gay girl world. Now, let’s talk about feeling sexy everyday.
First, let’s get honest. Some of you have gotten really lazy. Downright just stopped caring how you look. You’re trapped in the 90′s. You haven’t shopped for new clothes in a decade because what you have still fits. Or, I hate to say this, you’ve just stopped caring and gained a lot of weight. Now I’m not a fitness coach, but stop that! And if you’re a gay girl that’s maintained your weight through the years, congrats on staying in shape but you’re making yourself look older and out of style and it’s impacting how you feel about yourself. And its impacting your dating success too!
When you know you look great in your clothes, you feel sexy and attractive. When your hair is fixed and looks great, you feel great. It doesn’t matter what your style is – short, cropped, long or wavy – when you look great your attitude is great. When you look lousy – your attitude is lousy. Admit it gay girl! And if you’re looking lousy all the time, that’s a bad habit that’s really going to mess with your dating life.
I’ve got a rule of thumb that a lot of gay girls need to start following: never, ever keep anything in your closet that does not make you feel like the most amazing and sexy gay girl out there – never.
I’ve got a task for all of you right now. You need to head to your closet and do a fashion show for yourself. That’s right. Put things on. Get in front of the mirror and get honest. Do you like the way you feel in that pair of pants, shirt, t-shirt, sweater, sweatshirt, skirt, dress or whatever it is?
Anything you don’t like, give to Goodwill or throw it away. Give it to somebody who likes it. Give it to a friend who might want it. Invite all your friends over, auction it all off, trade clothes, whatever it might be.
Only own things that make you feel great. If you do this, then you’ll be more open and if you’re more open, you’ll actually meet more lesbians, more gay girls and more potential dates!
Go now! Do it now! Then come back here and tell me how it felt to clear out your closet! (And don’t forget the dresser drawers.)
About Mary Gorham Malia:
Mary Gorham Malia is a gay girl who’s passed the age of 50, survived menopause, hot flashes and night sweats, raised two children, came out later in life, divorced, grew from being a baby dyke to a lesbian with many dating experiences, has been rescued from cubicle nation and now finds the wisdom of being a bit older as the salvation she always wanted. She’s gone from lost and angry teenager to seasoned life traveler who has a commitment to reach out to the lesbian nation and make a difference for lgbt women.
As the founder and organizer of lesbian focused community groups in multiple states, with members numbering in the thousands, she brings her unique philosophies to women dating women wherever she can. Her unique focus is as a ”Step by Step You Can Live an Extraordinary Life” Gay Girl Dating Coach because happiness is more than a date!
Her business, Gay Girl Dating, LLC, was founded on the belief that lesbian, gay, queer, bi and transgender women can live extraordinary lives when they understand the principles and practices that make life great and put these practices into action in their own lives.
Gay Girl Dating Coach, LLC PO Box 10924, Portland, ME 04104 | Office: 207-450-1611|
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