Comments on: Life, Love and Dating –Being Vulnerable

By: Monique

Monique — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 21:55:11 +0000

Hello Mary,

Thank you so much for sharing your memories and lessons you have learned from your Father. I appreciate your insight, we do not get to choose our parents but as we get older we get to choose our relationship to our parents.

Vulnerability stems from “to hurt or wound” so the word has never sat well with me. I would prefer to call it open to trusting.

I pass along my condolences, prayers and thoughts for your Mother and your family as you reconcile your feelings to your loss.

Hugs, Monique

By: Kim Seago

Kim Seago — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 01:40:48 +0000

Thank you so much Mary…I am sorry about your Father…reminded me of mine… being vulnerable to me is being able to open your heart to someone else….and it is always nice if it is mutual. Much love to you! Kim

By: Mary Malia

Mary Malia — Mon, 01 Sep 2014 18:19:20 +0000

Hi DeAnne,
Thank you for your heartfelt and thoughtful response. And I love the metaphor of wet soap… if you don’t mind I just may use it in upcoming discussions and posts. And to get on my ezine list, just opt in for the free gift I offer.

Thank you for your kind words. And I’m glad you found them.
Hugs, Mary

By: DeAnne

DeAnne — Sun, 31 Aug 2014 23:21:58 +0000

August 31st, 2014
Hi Mary, amazing post!
This is my first visit to your site and in just a few moments your post and your story have changed my life. I have not read a more heart-felt blog in years!

To answer your question about defining vulnerability: To me, being vulnerable is the act of opening the door to possibilities. Those possibilities? Well…opportunities for more depth, better intimacy (not just the sexual kind), better understanding, more empathy–all aspects of love Isn’t this what the world craves? Being vulnerable allows for the connection that develops into love. Imagine putting a band-aid on a wet bar of soap–it won’t stick! Closing off vulnerability and allowing fear to take over, is like the wet soap…sure, it is ‘slick’ (maybe even trendy?) but won’t allow even the most ‘tenacious band-aid’ to gain any traction. I associate vulnerability with the very essence of the heart chakra; the antipathy of our fear-based, violent, warring, culture.
Thank you for putting these thoughts out there. You gave me an opportunity to find my voice today–yes, an opportunity to hear myself thinkg for a few moments, about the things/feelings I cherish the most. My voice has been hidden from me for so long. I seldom join anything, but your post was a ‘deal breaker’ and now I will go find out how to join your awesome site.

Many, many, Blessings!

By: Lucy Pabst

Lucy Pabst — Sun, 31 Aug 2014 07:41:52 +0000

saying how you feel out loud.

By: Patti

Patti — Sat, 30 Aug 2014 06:08:50 +0000

Thank you for being vulnerable with so many of us. I want to live a kind, loving, compassionate life. It is who I am inside.
“Being Vulnerable” to me is being willing to let down the walls and allow others inside. BUT how do I do that when it seems like every time I do, I am eventually hurt?

I am looking forward to Women’s Weekend in Guerneville!

Hey Patti,Thank you for sharing your take on being vulnerable and when you learn to be vulnerable from a place of self love, it stops being “dangerous” to be vulnerable! I hope to see you at Women’s Weekend. Please introduce yourself!! Hugs, Mary

By: Barb Elgin

Barb Elgin — Wed, 27 Aug 2014 20:53:53 +0000

Wow, you always write amazing articles, Mary and this one is extra amazing. So glad and so proud to call you my friend! Safe travels on the tour and I know you and I will be catching up real soon!

By: Mary Lambert

Mary Lambert — Wed, 27 Aug 2014 15:05:25 +0000

Thank you for the beautiful post today, Mary. It is very timely for me, as my older sister is in the last stages of dying from alcohol induced liver failure. The words you wrote about your father could also be written about her. She was an angry young woman, and became hardened and more difficult the older she became. She used alcohol to quell the pain, and pushed everyone in her life away. She remains that way to this day.

She has been a teacher to me, as your father was to you. I too have learned that you have to be courageous, and faithful to yourself, in order to live a good life and be able to help others as well. You have to open, and vulnerable, and true.

Don’t ever give in to the fear, and feel like you are not contributing something valuable. What you are doing is brave and wonderful. And if you help just one person each day (and today that was me ), it is very worthwhile! Go get’um, tiger!!!

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 27 Aug 2014 14:17:48 +0000

Mary, So sorry for your loss. Your parents sound a lot like mine. I appreciate your writings immensely and hope you know what a blessing you are. I came out a few months ago, at the age of 59. This is the most terrifying and exciting time I have ever experienced. I loved the definition of vulnerable. That is exactly the way I am determined to live the rest of my life.
Peace,
Mary

By: Megan Henderson

Megan Henderson — Wed, 27 Aug 2014 13:34:44 +0000

Being vulnerable is a warrior act. ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ is one of the best teachings I’ve had. Thanks so much for your courageous and beautifully written post today, Mary.

The importance of your work is inestimable! You are so clearly walking your talk.

My condolences to you for your loss. The loss of a parent is a profound one, no matter how old the parent or child is.

Megan