Are You Stomping On Love?

Do you know that you’re stomping on love? Yes, really you do. You resent friends that have it. You think you can’t have it so you say you don’t want it. And most important, you don’t take time to really love yourself. When you’re really ready to love yourself, you will stop stomping on love wherever it is.

This is article 4 in a 5 part series on attracting love. You’ve been learning about that the real obstacles to attracting love are inside of you. You’ve also been learning how to release toxic ties and how not to sabotage your dream by setting intentions for your love life. Now we’re going to shift your energy even more by having you create a love letter – to yourself so that you stop stomping on love!

 

 

Here’s a little reminder. You are learning how to magnetize yourself to attract love. That means shifting the energy patterns in your life. That requires

1. Changing what you focus on
2. Changing how and what you say
3. Using your body differently

The impact of doing all three of these things intentionally is huge! And you’re going to do all three in this exercise today.

Why is writing a love letter to yourself important? Because if I know you at all, I know you stomp on your self all day long. I know for many of you it’s almost impossible for you to see anything good inside yourself for more than 5 seconds, or to believe you are really worthy of being loved. I know you stomp on love because you can’t accept a compliment from anyone and let it rest in the core of your heart as truth.

If I asked you to tell me five things that make you totally lovable and totally desirable, you’d be hard pressed to come up with them unless you are in a really positive and loving space about yourself. And we know that’s not happening nearly enough.

You are really hard on yourself! You beat yourself up all the time. You rarely give yourself a moments rest to enjoy who you are and what you are about in this world. You stomp on your heart all day and it often starts before you even get out of bed. You are your own worst critic. Stop that. It’s not helping you find love.

If you could get really honest, you’d discover you’re amazingly rude to yourself and you’re doing it all day long. Wow, are you tired already at the realization of it, or mad or sad?

Does any of this sound familiar? Perhaps it sounds like you and that voice in your head? Yeah, I thought so. It’s time to shift this energy. Shift your focus, shift the words you use and shift your body to create more loving energy in your life.

You’re here learning about the Law of Attraction in this five part series. What I hope you just realized is that if you’re beating yourself up all the time, demanding perfection from yourself and you don’t have a nice thing to say about yourself it’s no wonder your relationships don’t go well.

In reality, we can only be as good and loving to others as we are to ourselves. That’s the lesson here. So now, let’s do an exercise to shift this energy.

It’s time you had some fun with love. Yes, I mean it. Stop being a poop (that’s a term my mother loves to use) and love yourself. Stop waiting for someone else to show up and tell you how amazing you are when you could be doing this every day for yourself. Yes, I really mean it. You must do this.

Give yourself the love you’re saving up for someone else. Yes, again I really mean it. You can do this and you’ll discover its one of the most encouraging things you’ll do this week. Plus, you might realize that there is no shortage of love in this world, it’s just a bad habit you’ve developed.

So here’s the drill:

Step 1: Change what you focus on. Imagine that you are your ideal partner and put aside a quiet half hour to write a love letter addressed to yourself. You might start by getting a new journal or special writing paper and pen. Make it feel special from the start. Put on music you love and light some candles. Make the space you’re in special.

Most important though, don’t get so caught up in setting things up to be special that you never do the exercise. You can get so much out of this by just grabbing a sheet of paper and starting to write. It isn’t complicated.

Step 2: Imagine you’ve met the most incredible woman and you’re busting at the seams to tell her how much you love her. Now turn it around.

Step 3: Start by asking yourself these questions:

• What would this amazing woman love and notice about you?
• How would she express her caring for you?
• What about you would she think and feel is so incredible that she can’t wait to be with you?

You can expect to feel resistance toward completing this exercise, but push through and see what you learn about yourself from your letter and what your ideal relationship and partner can look like.

Step 4: Change how and what you say. Start writing! You will start to see yourself in a new light.

Step 5: Use your body differently.  After you are done writing, take your letter, stand in front of a mirror and read it aloud to yourself. Look at yourself as you say the words in your letter. LET THEM SINK IN. How does that feel?

DO NOT SAY this is stupid. Do it because it does work. It’s that simple to shift your energy. Tell the rude voice on the inside to be quiet and let the loving voice have a say. Listen to yourself. Look yourself in the eyes and give yourself some love baby!

A client I did this work with, Heather, a 46-year-old from New York City, says that she “especially liked the exercise of reading my love letter out loud to myself. It was very difficult at first, but after my initial hesitation, it was so wonderful and very eye opening. It brought tears to my eyes. I realized that there is an incredible softness and love in me that I keep trapped behind my unreal expectations of myself. I also realized that when I let myself love me just as I am, I open up to love! It feels wonderful.”

Now honestly, tell me why you wouldn’t want to feel that good about yourself?

Step 5: If you’ve done the steps here and felt the shift in yourself, then don’t stop. Read that love letter every day out loud to yourself in the mirror for the next 10 days. It’s going to have a big impact and you’ll love yourself and what you are creating.

Go do it. Now.  Then perhaps you’ll come back here and leave me a comment. Tell me what you learned? What happened for you?  And help another woman learn to love herself with your encouragement.

Warm hugs to all of you,

Mary

Dating coach extraordinaire! Helping lesbians find lasting love, have more fun and live the life of their dreams.  She’s also an adventurer, passion seeker, mompreneur, friend and all around gay girl.