How do you celebrate your lesbian life? Milestones in life? Birthdays? Graduations? Special events? It’s seems that a couple of big ones are visiting me at the same time. My birthday is this week and my daughter is graduating from high school and will all too soon be heading out to college. I’m thrilled to be celebrating life and sharing the celebrations with some very dear and very fun friends.
Wide the Wave!
In the last year, I’ve met and become good friends with an amazing group of lesbians. We cheer each other on, we laugh at each other and with each other, we goad each other and we celebrate everyone’s uniqueness. Two of us have birthdays close together so we are having a joint weekend birthday party at a summer camp on a small lake in the woods of Maine.
There is a constant game going on with this group. It’s an underlying competition to be the funniest, most outrageous and ingenious. That means there is a constant stream of laughter. Honestly, I laughed more in the last 8 months than in the previous 40 years of my life. The real joy is that we cheer each other on. I expect you to out-do me. I even want it. I want to be challenged by your own unique approach to life, love and being lesbian.
Do you have friends like this?
I hope so and if you don’t start praying for them. Tell the universe you want this kind of relationship in your life. Honestly you do.
Then decide to be open to who shows up. In the group sitting on the dock right now, there are two couples. One in their 30s and the other in their 50s. The rest of us range from 40 something to 50 something.
I’ve known the younger couple for over 10 years. They are adorable. I’ve known the older couple for just 8 months and they are one of the best gifts to come into my life in the last year. If you’d asked me a year ago what I’d be doing for my birthday in 2012, I would not have guessed this but it’s perfect. And it just seemed to unfold into my life over the last year.
The rest of us are content singles; happy women who are enjoying life and rich friendships. Not without struggle sometimes, but all determined to make the best of the hand we currently hold. Oh and I need to mention we did bring Shirley, our token heterosexual on this weekend. She gave each of the dogs (there were 7) a new camp name. Her own special gift.
One very creative and gifted friend took windup toy paddle boards she found and turned each one into a figurine of everyone attending. See that picture. Isn’t that too much fun? I don’t care how old you are, if you’ll play like a child you’ll stay younger a lot longer.
Congratulations to all of you that still take play seriously. You play hard. You laugh hard. You celebrate silliness and juicy succulence and nerdy goofiness. We love it all.
What have you celebrated lately?
Who are you celebrating with? Are you taking advantage of small things to celebrate? Or do you have a rule that says you have to wait for big things to really celebrate? Or is your rule that you are waiting for the love of your life to show up so that you can start to celebrate? Please tell me “NO” I’m not waiting!
The world is full of juicy succulent women (Ok, we’ve been throwing that term around this weekend) who are funny and can fill your heart and soul with warmth and a sense of connection that you need. And with juicy succulent women who can make you split a gut laughing there never seems to be much that’s wrong with the world.
Good news – what an amazing weekend with beautiful weather and wonderful friends. Bad news – the weekend’s over.
With that in mind, I’m going to get back to the dock and the water and the women. And the paddle board races!
About Mary Gorham Malia:
Mary Gorham Malia is a gay girl who’s passed the age of 50, survived menopause, hot flashes and night sweats, raised two children, came out later in life, divorced, grew from being a baby dyke to a lesbian with many dating experiences, has been rescued from cubicle nation and now finds the wisdom of being a bit older as the salvation she always wanted. She’s gone from being lost and late to lesbian life to being a seasoned life traveler who has a commitment to reach out to the lesbian nation and make a difference for lgbt women.
Her business, Gay Girl Dating, LLC, was founded on the belief that lesbian, gay, queer, bi and transgender women can live extraordinary lives when they understand the principles and practices that make life great and put these practices into action in their own lives.
Gay Girl Dating Coach, LLC | PO Box 10924, Portland, ME 04104 |
| Office: 207-450-1611|
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
“Juicy succulent women!” What a prescription for my sorry sack of a personal life! The thought of being in a room full of ovaries…not just any ovaries, but beautiful lesbian ovaries, frightens me. Scares me to death. This is my dilemma. I spend 40+ hours a week in Gangland, USA working with children and families who live in an area where folks take care of unresolved issues with guns. There is no shortage of bullets. There is no shortage of death. And, then I am supposed to use my free time, vacations, birthdays with a group of lovely women who are loving and nurturing? Your blog suggests you had a wonderful, fun time this past weekend and what you are describing could be viewed as women in genteel relationships. I can do genteel, but holy cow, genteel can only go so far with me. It’s not that I find hardened cursing wild women attractive, but once a person has interacted with people who live on the other side of the tracks will inevitably have one’s innards and perspective of life challenged. I have no idea how to switch from harsh reality to softness. In superficial relationships I never had to think of “soft.” I suppose finding a group of women who could actually tolerate my reality may be difficult, or maybe not. Another problem I am experiencing in developing closer friendships is that a lot of women love to spend their leisure time watching tv and movies. I just don’t correlate watching television with developing friendships. We have to talk to each other about each other to get in the meaningful zone. Talking about actors and actresses will not get me in the meaningful zone. I would be right back to the superficial friendships again. After all, watching too much television causes one to become brain dead. I am registered for orientation at the LGBT center in June. I am hoping to increase my social contacts and see if there are women with interests that are parallel to mine. I am hoping that the LGBT center is only the starting point and I will be able to branch out into other activities. I have to have a friendship first before I could date a beautiful woman. Have a blessed day.
Firstly, happy birthday and congrats on your daughter’s graduation! The folks in my family are still rather fractured with the whole gay issue, so, despite the fact that my class marched last week, I just had them mail my degree a few months back lol. That kind of stuff just highlights the friction, so I’d rather avoid it. Not big on holidays, as they usually have religious overtones in this family, and I despise organized religion with a passion, especially in the way it is practiced around here. Unfortunately, that is the very high price I have paid for being true to myself.
But, it’s PRIDE TIME! To that end, this is my favorite holiday ever!
Mary,
Congrats on your daughter’s graduation! How exciting! You look fantastic Mary! I can’t even believe your daughter is graduating HS! Cool!
This is a great post! I love it! Being a juicy succulent woman! How awesome!
I think this truly describes me!
Sometimes I would tone it down so that I wouldn’t annoy people. But it’s really the only way to be! I am short, very femme, sassy and quirky! I am finally trying to stop accommodating others so that I dim my own light and my own juicy personality. There are some women out there that have that negative vibe and try to dim it out of you. I say just be you! You will then attract the right friends! It is so true. I came out 2 1/2 years ago and had a son! The first year was to accept it and move on. The second year is to really own it and be true to myself. What an amazing journey it’s been! I am still single and just surrounding myself around other lesbians, other single parents and still my derby girls – and I can say life has never been better! I am looking forward to growing, sharing, being silly, dancing, riding my bike more often, cooking, laughing and dreaming. There is so much around the corner to enjoy! I think this is a good approach to attracting the love of my life!
Love you,
Sophie (Sopherocious 146.1 cm) Retired Derby Girl
Sophie has it right. Just be happy, enjoy life, ride your bike, dream, laugh….that is all a positive outlook, and THAT is what will attract positive love to you. That is what my problem has been all along. I have been down on myself, thinking negative, thinking that I’ll never meet a beautiful woman to love me. Therefore, I haven’t met anyone. I haven’t been out there enough to make friends with any lesbian women. I’m usually stuck at home and work.
Mary, you keep saying to pray or tell the universe what we want. It’s all positive thinking and I truly believe that when we put out mind out there and ask for what we want and then actually make an effort to get what we want, then good things will happen. That love will come to us. Thank you for reminding me of that. And thank you Sophie for reminding me that I have to just live as a happy person and be positive and that will attract the love I’m longing for.
Hi Mary, I hadn’t read this blog before, and I love it! I have been so extremely lucky to have found the most wonderful women that I am know friends with! and yes especially 2 of them and I are like kids with each other and play around and have so much fun and we laugh all the time we are together and it is absolutely wonderful!! we get together on the weekends and just let our hair down and just party and enjoy each others company, we dance, we drink and just basically have a hell of a lot of fun!!
I am celebrating my new life and even though I am 53 I am enjoying it and having fun as if I was a teenager!! Love to you Ana Maria