“Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.” Don’t you love it!
Thank you Dorothy Parker for this great quote.
We aren’t common, we are special but we still need to talk about safe sex!
Lesbians need to have safe sex just like everyone else.

As lesbians we ignore some important lessons from the
heterosexual community and our gay brothers.
It’s the fact that we are not immune to sexually transmitted diseases.
Oh yeah, Mother Mary is showing up now. Preach it sista love!
Without a doubt, I believe sex should be fun, liberating and full of great juicy togetherness.
I also know that ignoring the facts of safe sex is stupid, foolish and naïve no matter what your age or who you are having sex with today or tomorrow.
Perhaps younger lesbians are paying more attention to STDs, but I’m not too sure. What I do know is that many women who come out later in life or have not been dating in a while don’t even think about how common sexually transmitted diseases are these days.
My first lesbian love worked for the local HIV/AIDs organization. I got my education first hand and I’ve never forgotten. She instilled in me just how important it is to get tested and talk about it. Here’s why…
How common are STDs?
- Every year there are more than 19 million new cases of Herpes in the U.S.
- More than 50 percent of sexually active people will get HPV at some point during their lives.
- There are 14 STDs that can impact women. Herpes is only one of them.
Enough said. I hope this is enough information for you to sit up and think twice? I hope so.
So whats a gay girl gotta do to have safe sex?
It’s simple. Pay attention to the rules of safe sex!
1) Get tested, get a pelvic exam and know your status. Many communities have a public health office where you can get an HIV test done for free or local nonprofits that have swab tests for this one.
As a woman, you need a pelvic exam and depending on what’s up for you other tests can be done.
2) Have the “Have You Been Tested” conversation before you decide to have sex with a new partner. Look this one is so obvious but you don’t do it. Bad on you! So many women would be disease free if they’d just have the courage to start the conversation in a caring way.
Don’t spread guilt – the worst disease we have in our society. Instead be prepared to be curious. If you are even having the conversation, you’re more than interested in this woman right? So get yourself educated.
3) Use protection. Yes you can. It’s not that hard. Visit your local adult toy store and get flavored dental dams, slit open condoms or use saran wrap for oral-vaginal contact. Use gloves. Use condoms on toys.
One of the best things in life – sex - requires a safe sex plan for single and dating lesbians
I’ve found a great resource that you can download and print for free. It’s got a lot of good “clean” information on how to have fun and stay safe. Click here to get it. Read the info all the way to the bottom of the page and there you’ll find a link to the pdf that you can save to your computer or print out.
I’m going to keep is short and sweet today.
Hey are you a lesbian? Get smart about sex. You will never regret it.
Sending you hugs,
Mary Gorham Malia is a gay girl who’s passed the age of 50, survived menopause, hot flashes and night sweats, raised two children, came out later in life and divorced, grew from being a baby dyke to a lesbian with many dating experiences, has been rescued from cubicle nation and now finds the wisdom of being a bit older as the salvation she always wanted. She’s gone from being lost and late to lesbian life to being a seasoned life traveler who has a commitment to reach out to the lesbian nation and make a difference for lgbt women.
Her business, Gay Girl Dating, LLC, was founded on the belief that lesbian, gay, queer, bi and transgender women can live extraordinary lives when they understand the principles and practices that make life great and put these practices into action in their own lives.
Gay Girl Dating Coach, LLC | PO Box 10924 | Portland, ME 04104 |
| Office: 512-522-7494 |




{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
i am 11 and a lesbian but it is ok for love but luckily i don’t have sex i only kiss my girlfriend
Hi Ella,
It’s so very cool that you already are clear about your sexual orientation and are enjoying kissing a girl. There’s never a reason to rush into sex because once you’ve gone there, you can’t really go backwards. Enjoy kissing, it’s a great past time! And thanks for sharing.
Mary