Comments on: Breaking Up Lesbian Style

By: Shelley

Shelley — Tue, 17 Jun 2014 03:00:15 +0000

Thanks for your articles. I’m finding them all to be quite informative.

By: Blair

Blair — Tue, 04 Feb 2014 12:27:07 +0000

Hi. You have a lovely site here, i’ll probably be milling about here a while. I’m pretty new to the lesbian thing. Im not quite 21, and came out to a good friend almost 2 years ago when i asked her out. We nearly made it 2 years, but last night we broke up and it was nice having your resource here. I feel sad, but also know that it was pretty inevitable. I feel a little dumb just venting blindly on the internet, but it’s also letting me deal with emotions more, which is good. I know it’s much too soon to jump back into dating, but i am worried for the future, since i dont really know how to actively seek a relationship with another lady. Sorry about lamenting my issues here. Thank you for this wonderful little world here, i at least needed some sort of comfort from someone who has a closer understanding of specifically girl/girl dating, though i do have support from straight friends and family.

By: SP

SP — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 00:01:57 +0000

Thank you so much for this wonderful article. There are so many blogposts on “How to Break Up” but very few that explain the process for lesbians. Women get soooooo emotionally entangled and it is a very different dynamic.

By: Julia

Julia — Mon, 09 Dec 2013 11:14:20 +0000

Thank you for writing this article, it really helped me a lot. I felt very sad for a long time over a 6 month relationship that ended a year ago. I have tried dating girls when I thought I was over it but always found myself missing her. She moved on in a week and its going on more than a year and I am still stuck in her shadow. Your article really made me feel better about myself and I could relate to your story. Thank you so much for sharing.

By: Havanna

Havanna — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 02:35:25 +0000

I’m emotionally tore up and don’t know what to do. I’m 26 and my lesbian lover is 44 years old, bipolar, and an alcoholic. We’ve been together for three years, And im to the point I want to leave her but she does things to pull me back into her heart, and on top of that I feel bad for her cause Im the closes woman she got in her life right now, But she can make me feel low, used, or worthless sometime. She never sees what she do and when I do tell her about herself she’ll be full of rage. I Need help, Im tired of crying

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 17:52:11 +0000

I moved to Austin 4 years ago after a really traumatizing relationship. I realized I needed a fresh start and had to be true to myself. I was working on coming out of the closet officially and trying to work on myself, and that’s when I met her. Her beauty and sense of child-like wonder made me weak in the knees…it didn’t even matter that she was still driving to San Antonio to see her ex and other girls she was “dating”. She was the first girl I’d met that I was actually comfortable being myself around, I was proud to hold her hand in public. I completely ignored the red flags and let myself fall for her. Over the course of a year we had some trials and errors, a summer where we didn’t talk at all, and then we finally got on the same page to make things official. We had that honeymoon phase for about a year; we were crazy about each other and I thought I had found the one. That was until I realized she had been lying to me about sleeping with someone when we weren’t talking. It wasn’t that she slept with someone that bothered me..it was that I was completely honest with everything I ever said to her and she kept telling me “I could never lie to you, I could never hurt you that bad.” Well she did lie, on more than several occasions, but I always found room for forgiveness. Everything we tried, even therapy, didn’t really seem to mend my ease about those damn little red flags I kept seeing. I had a really hard time letting go of the pain. A few weeks ago, our relationship hit rock bottom so we sort of mutually separated. The awkward thing is, our lease isn’t up for another 6 months and even though we have a two bedroom place (thankfully), I know she’s hurting a hell of a lot more than I am. I know I did everything I possibly could to try to maintain an open, honest and understanding relationship and even though I’ve made mistakes myself, I’m oddly at peace about this whole experience. Im not allowing emotions to overwhelm me and I’m accepting that everything happened for a reason. I have no anger towards her, in fact, I’ve been the most calm I think I have ever been…and that pisses her off. I’m trying my best to keep my distance from her and give her the space she needs to heal, despite her insisting we try to be friends. It is ABSOLUTELY true that I am the only person responsible for my actions. What people do or don’t do, say or don’t say should have no effect, I repeat, no effect on my response and my actions. Also, I’ve found that you can’t truly love someone until you love and accept yourself. If there are things about you that you’re struggling with, try to work through it. Reach out to people you can trust for support, focus on yourself and know that if you trust in it, the universe will take care of you.

By: Leigh

Leigh — Sat, 19 Oct 2013 02:49:41 +0000

I’m at such a loss. Thanks for this article. I’m going to spend some time on your site and hopefully build myself back up. I came out with her and I don’t know how to move on. She came out in her early 20s and I came out with her when I was 30. I don’t even know how to be out without her around. I don’t feel comfortable being out without her. Does that make sense? Ugh. This sucks.

By: MaryC

MaryC — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:15:55 +0000

I’m gay, lesbian.
I love women. But all I seem to meet are bi girls who are so adroit at pulling the straight girl card. I must be defective. My first girlfriend became pregnant!
Help please.

By: Anite

Anite — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 18:20:18 +0000

I’m still getting over the chaos and hurt of my break up.I truly thought this is the one. Ehhh such is life, her mean showed through, lots of negative. But what did I expect, she was going through a huge break up with PFAs. and PFHs, blah blah,, all she talked about was the ex and how it was all her fault,, (flag) she broke her neck in a car accident so I became care taker as well. She was an athlete and couldn’t budge so Taadaa a mess in the making. Now I’m reading you articles and trying to just find me. I’m enjoying the journey , well this part of it. Giggle. Alone is good . ; )

By: Cat

Cat — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 15:17:28 +0000

Ugh. Even when I’m the one who initiated it, ending something that started out inspiring and lovely hurts a lot! Thanks for the advice.