Can you be happy being alone?
Quite the question right? Can you be happy being alone? Some of you are yelling at me already and a good few of you are saying, “hell yah that’s exactly how I live my life!”
What’s my point here? One of the biggest lessons I believe we are here to learn is how to be content in ourselves and grow into the place where our circumstances don’t control our happiness and contentment.
For many of you, that means coming to terms with your season of being alone. You have to learn to make yourself happy and not count on someone else to do that. That’s a big important lesson to learn.
Thought #1 – Babies have to learn this lesson. When a baby is born, she has spent nine months in her mommy’s belly. She is used to being “with” someone all the time. She hears her Mommy’s heart beat, breathe and voice all the time. And then suddenly it’s over.
Yeah, no wonder babies cry and no wonder they calm down when they are held. Even as adults we want that but babies have to learn to sleep alone, learn to get themselves to sleep and learn how to get back to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night. Yes, it’s true. If they can do it, so can you.
So if a baby has to learn this skill of being alone sometimes, why can’t you? The point is that you can but you have to be persistent and patient with yourself in the process.
Thought #2 – When you are young (and this applies to some of you oldsters too) you think all power resided in people outside of you, your parents, your teachers and your bosses. As you matured and went off on your own, you started to realize that no one else is in charge of making you happy. You do know this right?
You are in charge of making you happy.
This is a big lesson when it comes to relationships. If your girlfriend or partner is responsible to make you happy, she has an impossible job. If you are responsible to make yourself happy then everything she adds to your happiness is frosting on your yummy cake of life.
So what’s the right answer to my question? YES! You can be happy being alone. You can be responsible for your own entertainment, making friends, coming up with plans and events with friends, hiking, biking, walking, reading, going to the coffee shop, grocery shopping, what show you watch on TV and what ever else strikes your fancy. And you can be down right happy every moment of it.
Why is this possible? Because you are in charge of your happiness. You don’t need to pursue it, you just need to be grateful for what’s in your world and embrace the happiness that is waiting for you. Do you follow me?
If you are unhappy because you are alone, you have yet to learn how to really enjoy spending time with yourself. And my friend, you are not loving yourself and being kind and tender to yourself.
Honestly, I don’t want to date anyone who tells me she hates being alone. Can you say “too needy”? I have learned to truly embrace my alone time. I’ve learned how to entertain myself, fill my days and totally enjoy being able to make myself happy and content.
And I’m someone who typically has multiple events scheduled on many days of the week. I’m not lacking in the ability to create social connections with friends, but I also make a point of creating those activities. That’s called creating a life that I want. (And I’m actually quite private and shy, so sorry shy girls, that’s not an excuse in my book.)
No more depressed and lonely?
Is this a learned skill? Damn right it is. Are you ready to start learning? You won’t ever have to be lonely, sad, hurting and depressed again when you discover how to enjoy your own company.
And then when you do spend time with friends and when you find a lover, they are going to be so thrilled with this amazing woman who can focus on giving love freely and isn’t afraid of being alone.
Start now. Decide. Set an intention to embrace loving yourself more deeply by spending time doing things you love and celebrating each moment of your own amazing, juicy, succulent and wonderful life.
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