Can You Be Happy Being Alone?

Hello all fellow sista’s and Mary and Ana,

I so agree, I find contentment with myself as I have seen that attract more women when they see i am content with myself (as I am, thought the follwong my make it sound a bit different, just some exampales of what I have gone through), (but to be honest, and yes, I too have felt all those feelings of loneliness even in all I do and (doen’t mean I am being self-absorbed, impatient, or any of those so called “cliques” or excuses” we tend to give ourselves, ohh the stories. I know the feeling, as you mentioned Ana, I too, being married for 8+ years, and always having a 6-8+ years of relationships (have always worked toward one life long monogamous one-on-one relationship), but other people decided to make a “reason” for it to end (or cheat on me, LOl (I can laugh about it now, not that, it was extremely painful for a highly empathetic deep feeling woman, like myself) but it always takes two and I am not blaming them, I beat myself up still sometimes that “if I did something different…, say one little thing differently” (but this ca consume us if we let this happen) though I have found peace and moved on and not bring it into my other relationships) and the universe had other plans, LOL)
but I digress, with that said, I get involved in other events similar to the ones you have mentioned, it makes it difficult not seeming to meet any women just interesting in spending time with me or our “scheduled never meet up, LOL (and a thousand other “reasons” that many seem to put on it, I am always open to be flexible in today’s high pressure of being so busy…), as I am very open, but shy too, (but NEVER use any excuses as they say),
alot of my friends, say, your very self-aware Jen and so fearless, (if they only knew, how hard sometimes, I struggle inside…)

but I also know in my age group, my anxiety, fear of being hurt, (though I use every trick in the book to make it easier, its not) ethnic background and my type of work/ job it makes very difficult to (seem) to now find someone that can be a friends (as many of us know its important to have a great friendship and foundation before we have something amazing …and what better way then to have a best friend fall in love with us), but we know all our chances are half-chance, but so is everyone else’s and every other clique out there (and those that say its easy, are kidding themselves, as many of us tend to be our own wrost critics and have felt deeper then many and some not so much, but that is a WHOLE other story).

But for me, I do not feel I fit the “BABY” term currenlty, but been there soo many times, (and may have to learn to again down the road when things change, but that is another story), but then there are days I wake up and feel, ok, today… I will so this and that to take me out of the “role” learning those techniques, as some may be struggling with it, (can make us feel less empowered), I get up and most days feel very empowered and not the same metaphorical “little girl” inside, like deep inside we all do on a daily basis, some of use are willing to speak-up and “be real” as (others cover it with food, chemical dependency or self-denaled, I hit it straight on, the best of my ability each day, if it is not good enough for someone, well as long it is good enough for me at the end of the day, I am content and happy) (but, I know its not easy) I have always loved your great advice and all your do “being real” shows a lot of sides to it and more (I know should see these or even have a get together for us all to sit an watch together (but not so easy in a highly busy time to see them on our own time) could open up and be more open-minded instead of letting there “issues” of gender, sexuality, anger of “making us feel less of a person” as they put us down to “THINK they are trying to make us feel less of a person” so they can try to “CONTROL US” and I SAY NO MORE! and so many other list of things that can get in the way…

With that said, I truly agree with all your great points as well,
I find ways on a daily basis, as I love the (not having to “check in with anyone” feel pressured to not have to be there every waking hour and just the freedom to not feel “locked” into my home life as they say, (though, some will disagree, (just some examples, and I’d rather be alone then ever let a persons “Control me” put me down, judge me, physically, mentally hit me (which, in my opinion should not exist…) but I digress…,) I truly enjoy the moments and happy and content with my time alone and find myself get into my own routine and love that time alone and embrace it and find contentment (most of the time it is not interpreted, though, that’s life), ^_^

and though, I am aware the “universe will provide” I do not think, being aware and open to new experiences should close anyone off, but I feel no example is “perfect” and everyone has their own way of “doing things” and just sharing my day’s routine and a few examples of what I have seen as patterns (so that I will not repeat them)… (but not always easy, as every human being will react differently), as it is just a small piece of my day to empower others to not let them feel the FEARS of there own self-doubt or “beating themselves up that, “NO ONE wants me” or a million reasons that metaphorically stop us to go out and live a happy healthy life. ^_^

Thank you Mary for the post and Ana for sharing, (I will keep my fingers crossed this person you are falling in love with will have something “CLICK” inside, sooner then later and see your an amazing not just woman, but an AMAZING HUMAN BEING, sending my best wishes and metaphorical love your way…

I know how it feels, and the anxiety of it and will it change, I had a similar situation, where I was falling for this woman I knew, she was giving me mixed signals, says, “I am keeping my options open”, (I was hating myself for a moment, but moved on, that I had to be the one to “bring it up”) loved each others company, she said I made her laugh (which is a HUGE one), then out of the blue, I called her, she came to meet me, and she said (she NEVER was showing anything and “I” misunderstood her? and it WASN”T right), (she would not give me reason, sometimes they won’t) (I wasn’t born yesterday) but in my opinion, if she just opened her mind, up I know the situation and the way we hung-out would of quickly changed and we would of been great, (or I could off said, well, the universe will provide) but after that comment, I knew I had someone better for me…

but that my friend is a WHOLE other story and (hope that does not happen to you) I am proud I had the strength to ask allowing me to be open to someone else and be content with myself and being alone and empowered to feel comfortable alone and will attract an AMAZING woman that will not have “those issues” and love me for me, (though, this is my “side” I’d love to hear her side, but, though, I cannot read her mind, she (seemed) as she mentioned she had just giving the same speech and feeling the same to someone else not just a few months prior and I think she was feeling something for someone else still and was interested to someone else as she spoke (especially when I got the clique, “I am not seeing anyone.” WRONG! We are all, it just means she is into someone else, we are always looking til we find someone (we do not feel we are settling for) wither we admit it or not, in my opinion…) and it seemed she was letting “other issues” not allow her to have an AMAZING relationship with me, but that is a whole other story) but its never easy, just thought I would share a similar situation, that turned bad and I hope yours turns GREAT and AMAZING!) ^_^

HUGZ, HUGZ ^_^ Thank you again Mary, ^_^

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