Today let’s look at Attraction Tip #3: Set an intention for your love life. Don’t sabotage your dream by being lazy or unclear about what you want in your love life. This is a very important next step after you’ve done the work of Attraction Tip #1:Envision the Relationship You Want to Be In and Attraction Tip #2: How To Release Toxic Ties.
Attraction Tip #3: Set an intention for your love life!
By doing the work in Attraction Tip 1 and Tip 2, you set in motion your thoughts, emotions and the power of attraction by creating a clear picture of the love life you want to have and clearing toxic energy out of your life. Now it’s time to use the power of intention to create an environment that keeps you consistently open, focused and clear about your goal, keeps you on the path to receive love when it shows up and keeps you from sabotaging your dream.
What does this look like? It looks a lot like setting goals for getting into shape, or getting a college degree or buying a house. It’s as simple as following the four steps to setting an intention:
Step 1: To have a thought and/or belief in a particular possibility.
You must decide to believe that love and relationship is completely possible for you. This is a decision! So don’t wait for the feeling to show up, just decide it is possible. If it’s possible for your friends, it’s possible for you. If it’s possible for lesbians all over the world, it’s possible for you. Take the limits off yourself and decide YES! Love is possible for me.
Step 2: Speak your intention out loud.
This means saying it out of your mouth. I call this making a declaration but then reinforce it with emotion, repetition and by using your body (physiology) to engage more of your nervous system in the process. That means get off the couch, stand up strong and speak out your desire. “I am going to have a fabulous and amazing love life with an amazing woman! I am worth it. I deserve it and it’s coming to me.” Yeah, I mean say it OUT LOUD!
Step 3: Take actions that support the manifestation of your intention, and abstain from those that sabotage it.
This means a lot of things. Let’s start with the physical stuff. If you sleep in a bed that’s too small (a twin or double) then it’s time to buy a queen-size bed. If you sleep with your dog, as if it’s your lover – think again about the message you are sending to the universe. Where is your real live lesbian lover going to sleep? Are your closets so full of your old stuff that a visitor can’t hang a coat up, if this is the case you have no room in your life for a real live lesbian lover. So the point is you need to make physical space in your life for a lover.
Pay attention to your words. Your words are creating your life. You are getting what you speak out of your mouth all the time. If you don’t believe me then start listening to yourself. If you are constantly moaning that there are no good lesbians left, all the good ones are taken – you are getting your wish. What if you said, “I see so many great lesbian relationships that I know it’s possible for me to have that too!” Wow, that’s different isn’t it. Your words are sabotaging your dreams. Stop it!
Believe that finding love is possible for you and tell people that are supportive that you are committed to finding the one for you. BE consistent in your words and actions.
Step 4: Let go of the results and the timetable.
Relax, speak what you want to happen out of your mouth. Remind yourself every day of the intention you set and then go on and enjoy life.
Finally, keep reminding yourself that “LIFE IS FOR YOU.” Life is not against you. Each day has a gift waiting for you, open your eyes and heart, receive it and enjoy it.
Be happy and be grateful wherever you are. It’s the best way to be ready for love cause the woman you want is looking for a happy woman to love. Be that now. Don’t wait.
Next time, I’ll teach you about Attraction Tip #4 – Write a love letter to… yourself! In the meantime, join me on my Facebook page and let’s talk about what’s happening for you in dating. I’m active on Facebook and love to talk to readers and learn more about you, your dreams and what’s going on in your dating world. I hope to SEE you there!
Warm hugs to you,
Mary
About Mary Gorham Malia:
Mary Gorham Malia is a gay girl who’s passed the age of 50, survived menopause, hot flashes and night sweats, raised two children, came out later in life, divorced, grew from being a baby dyke to a lesbian with many dating experiences, has been rescued from cubicle nation and now finds the wisdom of being a bit older as the salvation she always wanted. She’s gone from being lost and late to lesbian life to being a seasoned life traveler who has a commitment to reach out to the lesbian nation and make a difference for lgbt women.
As the founder and organizer of lesbian focused community groups in multiple states, with members numbering in the thousands, she brings her real life philosophies to women dating women wherever she can. Her unique focus is as a ”Step by Step You Can Live an Extraordinary Life” Gay Girl Dating Coach because happiness is more than a date!
Her business, Gay Girl Dating, LLC, was founded on the belief that lesbian, gay, queer, bi and transgender women can live extraordinary lives when they understand the principles and practices that make life great and put these practices into action in their own lives.
Gay Girl Dating Coach, LLC | PO Box 10924, Portland, ME 04104 | Office: 207-450-1611|
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Mary, your points are right on!!! I’ve attracted many a good mate by using them as well. Now, will you also tell us about keeping that great relationship healthy?? lol Thanks for your insights.
Such great tips Mary!!! so important to be clear about what you want. Thanks!!
Mary…great article, I couldn’t agree more – with all your points, so very true Karen
INTENTION. Such a powerful word! Thanks for the reminder.
Great tips Mary! They are relevant for a lot of other things we want in our lives too!
Wonderful words for remembering to create what we want in life. Thank you!