To let go of the past, it’s important to not resist it. That’s Step 2.
In Step 1, I told you about creating a pivot point. To recognize when you’re spending time with thoughts that don’t help you live in the present but keep you trapped in negative and painful memories from the past. With Step 1, you created your own pivot word and many of you created an image to go along with it. Really excellent stuff!
What does it mean to not resist the past?
Let me explain. Hold your hand out in front of you with the palm facing the ceiling. Hold your fingers out so that your palm is open with nothing in it. Let’s call this being open handed. Your hand is empty in a sense. You’re not holding onto anything.
Now if I were to come along and place a key in your hand you could close your fingers around it and grip it. You could grip it tightly making it impossible for me to get the key out of your hand even if I pulled hard on your fingers to get at the key. Or perhaps you would grip it gently and lightly and I could pull your fingers back easily to get the key back. The point here is that you are grasping the key in an attempt to hold on to it.
Grasping at something is one way we try to control what is happening in our lives.
Now you could simply let the key lay in your open palm and not resist it and not try to do anything with it. Just hold your palm so that the key doesn’t fall to the ground. When you hold the key this way you can actually examine it easily. You can see it’s dimensions, color, edges and unique markings. When you grasp the key in your hand tightly, it becomes hidden under your fingers and you could actually take it and stick it in your pocket or your bag and try to pretend it doesn’t exist. You can’t actually look at it when you are grasping it so tightly.
Don’t resist your past, seek to see if differently.
Here’s the point. Sometimes you feel like you have to hide your past. Or even hide from your past. You push it away from you. In Step 2 – the lesson is not to resist your past but to see if differently. To allow yourself to see that you did the best you could with what you had at the time. You were as good, loving and resourceful as you knew how to be at the time.
You can’t go back in time so you can’t change what happened. It’s done. Don’t resist what happened, let it be your teacher. Let it be the door into becoming a better version of yourself. Perhaps you can become someone who is better able to deal with conflict and be more resourceful when issues arise. Perhaps you can become a woman that is more forgiving and more accepting of your own and other’s imperfection.
Yesterday a friend of mine used this phrase, “we are all chipped plates.” Isn’t that a wonderful picture? I loved it. I’ve had old chipped plates that I kept around and continued to use because they reminded me of special times and people. We don’t always throw out the chipped plates in our lives.
You are a chipped plate. So am I. And those chips, like the scars that come from scraps and cuts, injuries and surgeries make you special and more interesting as a human being. Don’t resist your scars and your chips. Don’t resist your past and don’t hide from it.
Acknowledge it, let it teach you and allow it to be one more part of your life that helps you evolve and grow into your best self.
To be clear, I’m not saying indulge in your past pains and hurts. I’m not saying to recreate your past. I’m not saying you should go back in your memories and spend hours there. Remember Step 1 – when you’ve been taken captive by dark emotions about your past it’s important to pivot and step out of that.
Step out of the dark and negative emotions that trip you up and keep you from enjoying life.
Don’t be afraid to let your past become a gentle teacher.
Notice one other thing when you picture being open handed and see the key in your palm. It’s outside of you. It’s not inside of you. When you can take your past, parts of it, pictures and images you have, memories that hurt and see them outside of your body or mind, you’ll find that some of the pain you’ve associated with the past diminishes.
So how do you do this? Sit quietly. Hold your hand out in front of you. See yourself placing some picture, event or emotion from your past in your hand. Now breathe deeply and slowly 2 or 3 times. Look at what is sitting in your open hand. What do you see? What do you see that you’ve never seen before? Ask yourself, what can I learn by not resisting and not trying to control the image I see? Finally when you are done with this, ask God or Universe or Goddess or Spirit – whatever speaks to you – to kindly come and take this image from you. Then ask for a new picture and a new understanding of this image.
Leave your hand open and let a new image form in your hand. What do you see?
Would you share it here with me? Leave a comment. I’ll read all of them and add my replys.
Much love and hugs,