Comments on: I found her! Now What’s That About Compromise?

By: Cynthia P. (DatingAdvice.com)

Cynthia P. (DatingAdvice.com) — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 20:47:09 +0000

I like what your commenter, Sally, wrote. She said she “gets it.” And I agree, it’s until you’ve taken yourself out of your little box, turned around to see what kind of silly dater you’ve become– you don’t realize it until you’ve fallen flat on your face.

Your advice is timeless, emotions take the wheel in so many cases early on in a relationship, we are too weak to resist the chemistry a new dating prospect offers us…Well said, Mary!

By: Barb Elgin

Barb Elgin — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 15:07:52 +0000

Great topic – Commitment to self is certainly a topic many women are unclear about because we are socialized to put others first, etc. Hope you’ll come back to Lesbian Love Talk soon to explore commitment – in all it’s permutations – soon!

By: Sally

Sally — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 12:38:38 +0000

Mary, you hit the nail squarely on the head with this topic.
This is so important for younger lesbians to learn, I think most of us older gals know this story all to well. Being in my 40’s I finally get this and I love it.
thank you for all your great coaching, I look forward to your emails.

By: Giorgi

Giorgi — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 11:14:47 +0000

HI There GGDC.

Over a year ago I sat at one of your informative meetings and decided, that I knew exactly what you were talking about and convinced myself that I was in fact ready to date and needed no HELP! What a laugh…the next person I dated was someone my friends knew and although over the year before we began dating I already had reasons to walk away…of course when the opportunity arose I jumped in.

I made a commitment to get to know her and to understand her at all costs. I followed her lead throughout our three month dating and everytime there was a red flag, I turned it white.

I understood her so well, that when she broke up with me the morning after I cooked her favorite meal and found the German Chocolate cake that her grandmother made her and got her that laptop she never had…and of course she told me how great I was and how she learned so much, and that I saved her…Oh! did I mention the cell phone and car insurance that I got her in my name…

I am laughing out loud, because I thought that I was ready to date. I was ready to be married again, because that is all I know. I know how to commit. I know how to be there. I know how to roll over and not listen to the voice inside saying, “Something isn’t right. She says one thing and does another!”

And now here I sit a year later and I am thinking about dating again, thinking that I am ready, thinking that I learned everything I need to know from the last two women, whose company I kept.

But, now I know that dating is not what I know anything about, except that it should be fun and not rescuing a woman from the ex whom she is still living with…is this story sounding familiar. I had no idea, because I assumed that my friends knew all I needed to know about this woman, when we began dating.

I am very much interested in learning more and look forward to working with you at some point. I hope that my escapade helps someone slow it down and take a look at the red flags and either get out or get help. Ciao for now, Giorgi