“Batter, batter, batter!” No not cake batter, but baseball! Remember when you were first trying out sex and there were four bases. So maybe you’re on deck or maybe you’re on base. Either way, once you’ve run those bases as a younger woman, we forget that once there were stages, zones or even delays between getting up to bat and getting a home run.
The same thing hold true for dating. If you want to slow down the dating experience then there are a few things you can do.
- Do not jump into bed and have sex. That will really slow things down. Believe me.
- Decide that going from dating to mating is a process. Processes usually take time.
- Stop trying to figure out if that gay girl is your next mate on a first date. Relax and breathe!
- Think of dating as a four bases game.
What’s that mean you ask? Well let me tell you.
Dating is about having fun AND getting to know someone. When you start out dating it should be about fun and being casual. Stop setting yourself up for disappointment or setting up too high expectations.
Stage 1 of dating is about having fun and getting to know someone. And remember if you want to go slow, stay the hell out of bed.
Stage 2 is about becoming exclusive – we’re not going to see anyone else. I really like you and I want to focus on getting to know you better. This shouldn’t happen on a first, second or third date. It shouldn’t happen for about three months (and a good way to celebrate is to have sex!.) Oh and why three months. I’ve seen it over and over, couples become couples after one or two dates and then break up by month three. Think about it. I’m right.
Stage 3 is about pre-commitment. Think of it as an engagement period. You’ve decided that this woman is for you. You love her and you want to be with her forever. During pre-commitment you’re working out what its going to be like when you do live together. OMG, did I say that? You’re still not living together. Yes, I did say that.
Stage 4 – commitment! You’re living together, having great sex, maybe you live somewhere you can marry and you’re settling down baby!
Are you shaking your head and wondering how is it even possible to wait that long for sex or to make a binding commitment. Well for many gay girls it’s near impossible to wait. So that’s why we see our friends breaking up so often and that’s why you are breaking up so often. You move too fast. And if it’s the woman you are dating who is moving too fast is because it’s all she knows. Help her out and tell her you’ve set some boundaries around how you date. And you don’t want your world or your heart blown up. That’s a good thing!